Rationality

Stress is the ultimate Rationality Killer. The mind's ability for higher-thought processes that enable the amazing discoveries of scientists, explorers and adventurers, also enables us to be creatively and unbelievably irrational. Every minor blow-up, mess-up or niggle forces us to micro-analyses and turn all of it into the worst possible senario.

But life is life and all things need to be taken into account, we as animals are adaptable. As much as we can invest our emotions and energy into people, ideas and material possessions, we must also detach and say, 'Yes, I value you/this but I will also survive if you/this wasn't here.'

The point is to enjoy the moment, don't plan too much and let it be. (LOL)

The best thing... seems to be a nice chat with friends; talk about what you're going through, what you are feeling, anything. To communicate is human, and it is the way to let go...

W.

Work, work, work...

The title explains it all. Week 12 and shit hits the fan... in the space of one week,
Tuesday was the only day where I had no work due. Other days, there were several assignments due, not to mentions tests as well.

Luckily, I did get a slight repreive - my Chinese oral on Confucius was re-scheduled due to my hectic week.

I don't know whether I should be worried about not being stressed, well, actively stressed that is... I thought I was fine, then, BOOM; I became irrational, unreasonable and very Ass-like. Also suffered several nightmares last night, unusual as I haven't had nightmares in a very long time.

Well, tomorrow is the last day of shit-week. Relax and then gonna get on top of exam studying.

W.

Safran's Schtick

Camberwell maketh the princess.

Black boots, Winter cardi, leather, back fat and a chip on their shoulders.

Micromanaging soccer mums.

9:3:3:1

hmmm... how do I phrase this without sounding like an emotional teenager with no grasp of reason and rationality? Oh wait, there isn't any.

I don't want to be a princess, I don't want to 'rage' at things that are beyond my control or anyone's control, I don't want to change anyone but what am I still doing wrong? I pay attention, I praise, I acknowledge, I support and I am reliable but yet I'm still there to be used.

I am not nothing. You are not the only one who is 'busy' or have a life outside of this, I have work, and assignments and problems at home too. If you want to rely on me, I am allowed to rely on you too.

You can't ignore me when you feel like it. And you can't just call me because you want something. I should be important, even just a little.

Don't mistake this as your week long abscence for you make-it or break-it report. I know that is very important. This has been a long time coming... I just never say anything. You might not think that, but I feel that.


I realise I'm being a tad melodramatic, but this is the forum for it. Maybe you shouldn't read it. Nicole says I should talk to you instead. But I don't know where you are.



P.S. ...I'm not mad anymore but I do feel a little stupid ;P

Musings

My travel blog was effectively killed halfway through the trip, as you may have noticed. Lack of internet and wanting to fully appreciate the experience are just some of the reasons for that ;P

It has been a few months since I've been back, and let me just say that the original plan was 6 weeks in Shanghai then a week in Beijing... not three months, and especially not an entire month in Singapore. But all in all, every little mishap and detour turned out to be very eye-opening and fun.

One thing nobody ever mentioned to me was the post-travel blues. Once you arrive back on to home soil, there is a relief but also a strange feeling that although so much is the same, everything is different. Time has passed for all, but in a different currency to me. Traveling is like being a time capsule... or I guess it could be called social micro-evolution and social (genetic) drift.

Another thing nobody told me was post-19 blues. Not blues as such, but more realisation. It hit last night, while out with friends, watching a jazz gig (btw Ai Hui Chua and Rosaline Yuen ftw). I guess you could even called it cold Commitment Phobia.

There may be a few years left on my degree but it doesn't stop me from soon joining the rat race of 9-5 corporate office gear in snazzy but sensible heels. I well aware that I am on the fast track of becoming the OFFICE WOMAN (the source of my internal angst). I attend yoga classes as well as pilates classes. I carry work-out clothes and I attend to indie gigs with girlfriends while sipping on a hot beverage and chatting... I own a labeless but nevertheless cool and fashionable wardrobe, have the freedom of an independent and own a boyfriend... The epitome (stereotype) of a 21st century 20+ woman (and stress on the woman).

Things seem so ideal that I must admit that I'm very suspicious... Acceptance of it all is the embracing of femininity and strangely, female empowerment and contentment. Responsibility and consequences too.

I don't waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaana be responsible...

Day Twenty-Nine and Thirty

DAY TWENTY-NINE: well... Day Twenty-nine was ok... i jst didnt take any vids to put up lol. we went to Xintiandi... which i think is where all the foreigners used to live. Oh, but before that we all went to hotpot for dinner! yay! sth remotely like Canto food... lol thats abt the only thing i miss ahahaha then we split into groups and i went shopping for some going out clothes but didnt manage to find any except for long socks XD (we all know how i looooooove socks) then we went to xintiandi, which was suppposed to have heaps of awesome clubs and bars but that didnt really turn out to be the case... we went to a pub thing... that was pretty expensive (i had a screwdriver and split a banana split lol) then we went to a euro-club called G+ and that was utterly crap. THEN i kinda learnt how to rave...heehee instead of dancing in the club, we danced outside in front of some mirrors XDDDD so... it was kinda lame, so we went home and played cards (and i kicked ass)....

Day Twenty-Six - pt 2